AMS

I think Ive mentioned gri-gris before but in case you forgot, Ill refresh your minds. West Africans, before colonization of the Brits and the French, had a long lasted traditional African animist view. AKA, they were paegan. They sort of mixed their old tradional ways into a new modern West Africa. Though they did indeed keep a little bit of old fashioned West African voodoo magic. Theyre called gri-gri.

 

Gri-gri are little magical charms that you wear around your body that have a significant meaning or protection. I for one would love to say that this is total BS, but in truth, Im a gri-gri whore. Ive been seen wearing a little bit of that voo-doo love.

 

It was a hard decision to make, but what would I choose to be my first Lucky Charm? I thought about it for a while. A long while. Then it came to me while I was swimming in my village swimming hole. Wouldnt it really suck to be eaten by a BIG ASS crocodile? Why yes, that would really suck. I talked to my village marabout about getting a `I dont want to be eaten by a crocodile while im swimming' gri-gri. So instead, he created the ultimate 'dont bite me' charm. Im protected from all things that bite: crocodiles, spiders, snakes, dogs, girlfriends, etc..." He put the spell in a huge ocean shell; wrapped it in leather. I wear it around my waist with pride.

 

My marabout gave me specific instructions on how gri-gri lose their powers. I must do the following to insure gri-gris last:

 

1. I am not allowed to be touched by a woman, in my special place, unless I take off my gri-gri.

 

2. Im not allowed to touch MY special place unless I take off my gri-gri. This includes going to the bathroom and anything else you perverts at home are thinking about.

 

3. If I wear too many gri-gri, they may lose their power.

 

Believe it or not, I have been true to my marabouts wishes and I have yet to be bitten by anything with teeth.

 

I must confess that I did indeed purchase more than one gri-gri. I am very impressed that I havent been eaten by something big yet. I need to go to a gri-gri maker to have these things put into necklace form.

 

I am a proud owner of the-

 

1. 'Dont stab me with that knife' gri gri

2. 'Haha...You cant shoot me with that gun either' gri gri

3. 'You want to make a bet, I can kick your ass' gri gri

4. 'Even though Ive been vaccinated, Ill never get yellow fever' gri gri (I bought this one because it was an antique. It was made for someone who has long been dead. Probably from yellow fever.)

 

Since Im protected from being stabbed or shot and since I have the blessing of Allah to kick people's ass, Its given me a very keen awareness to my environment. I like to call this sense, "AMS- otherwise known as Alpha Male Syndrom." Alpha Male Syndrom gives me the power to go up to anyone and give them instant shit, hence, Alpha Male. Senegalese people are very aggressive. They have no problem getting in your face. But when it comes to fighting, they are clueless. I once saw two men slapping at each other in duel combat. Thats a step up from the usual, push-and-run method I see on a daily basis. I have yet seen a fight here that consists of fists, blood, or pain.

 

I promise not to go using my Alpha Male Syndrom around town. Its more of a 'just in case' sickness. Just in case somebody tries to stab me will I tell them to piss off and beat them up. Just in case somebody wants to steal my wallet with a gun pointed at me will I try to beat the man with his own shoe. Its the little things Ill be waiting for to use AMS. Well just have to wait and find out if my gri-gri still have power. I better not take a piss before I go around trying to pick a fight.