P = A

 Ive been kind of sick for the past two weeks. From the time I got here until now, Ive been pretty damn straight in the sickness category. Our medical staff is overworked right now so its more or less just a waiting game before I find out whats up with my dirty self.

 

About two weeks ago I was laying in bed with the chills. Thats kind of ironic being the fact that Africa is hot as hell. After my chills left, I was overwhelmed with a fever. Of course I also had a bad case of the BIG D, or Hershey Squirts if you want a more graphic picture.

 

The fever didnt leave for three days in which I called our Doctor. Of course she said that I was fine and that I should wait it out a little while. It may be a little bit of a coincidence that our only doctor went to med school in the Soviet Union, DURING the regime. Or maybe Im just an asshole.

 

The fever and the D didnt stop, so I was treated for Malaria. I had to prick my own finger with a sharp object and send my blood in for testing. Still no word. That was weird to think about. I felt fine so I went back to my village. That wasnt a smart move on my part. I got sick again. So to make a short story even shorter, I get sick for three days and then I get better for two. Its on a cycle with my GI track.

 

Unfortunately today is day one of the 3 day OUCH cycle. Lucky for me though, I have two days to look forward to later on in the week.

 

In my opinion, I believe I might have what the expert call an "AMEBA". Amebas are parasites in your body that mess around with your insides. You get them from drinking untreated water or eating infected foods. If youd like a better explanation on amebas, google.com may help you find what youre looking for. For an easy equation for my sickness, please read the following: 

 

P= Paul

A= Ameba

W= Water ; ~W= Bad Water

F= Yummy food; ~F= Not so yummy food

D= Hershey Squirts

M= Medication; ~M= Not on Medication

C= Three Day Ouch Cycle

C²= Two Day not so much Ouch Cycle 

USSR= My Doctor

 

1. P + (~W + ~F) = D

2. D + C = THIS SUCKS

3. THIS SUCKS - (D + C) = C²

4. C²= (W + F)

5. C² + C = A

6. P + A =  IDIOT

7. P + ~M = I cant get any better without M

 

Therefore, P = A

 

So logically, if you drink bad water and eat bad food you're an IDIOT.