Village Profile #2

CHIEF

 

Id like to introduce you to Chief, otherwise known to me as Papa Smurf. One day Papa Smurf was wearing an all blue outfit and a white hat, so since then Ive been calling him a smurf. Even if he doesnt understand what the hell Im talking about.

 

You can always tell when Papa Smurf is around because hes constantly screaming at the little kids. Hes an old man with half a set of brown teeth and short grey hair. If Papa Smurf lived in America, Im pretty sure hed be a used car salesman. Lucky me for being the only white guy living in his house.

 

Like I said, Papa Smurf would probably sell used cars in America if he could. The man is the cheapest person Ive ever met. He forces his sons to work for him so he doesnt have to. Hell never spend a dime on anyone exept himself and hes always hitting me up for money. So I usually give him 12 cents just so hell go away and leave me alone. I think he may be on to my game.

 

There is one story in particular I have about Papa Smurf that Ill never forget. Hes a man of selfish pride. He striv es to always be the center of attention, no different than myself of course. Last year during one of our many Muslim holidays we all dressed up nice and met at the mosque for prayer. During religious functions, our village Marabout (religious leader) is center stage. Our Marabout brought out a decorative wooden staff to lead his followers in prayer. Oh no, that took away Papa Smurfs spotlight. But Papa Smurf doesnt have a beautiful decorative wooden staff to show his leadership skills in the village. Remember, hes cheap.

 

But the man is witty. When he saw our Marabout with a staff and he didnt have one, the old man ran back to his room to try to find something of equal or better quality. Whats he do? Papa Smurf took his damn bed post off his bed and tied a bunch of colorful ribbons around the head, so he could hide the giant silver screw protruding from the top. God forbid people find out he didnt own a beautiful decorative wooden staff. Even worse if they find out he did, but carved out of the finest wood a cheap used car salesman can afford to sleep on. At least he kept his pride.